Yakov Smirnoff Quotes

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  1. “We have a choice – we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  2. “We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we’ve heard in fairy tales.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  3. “I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  4. “Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  5. “I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  6. “I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  7. “In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  8. “When you like something, you find time to do it.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  9. “Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  10. “My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  11. “Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  12. “If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  13. “When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  14. “We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  15. “The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  16. “I came to America to make it my home, and I did.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  17. “I fed my ego, but not my soul.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  18. “The ad in the paper said ‘Big Sale. Last Week.’ Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  19. “People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  20. “Never having alone time is real tough on people.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  21. “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  22. “Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody’s minds.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  23. “Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  24. “I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  25. “I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  26. “To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  27. “Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That’s why you need a strong line of communication… which includes laughter.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  28. “After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn’t funny anymore.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  29. “It’s kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  30. “Men and women are immigrants in each other’s worlds.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  31. “In today’s society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  32. “As Americans after 9/11, we’re much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  33. “There’s depth in my comedy.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  34. “Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  35. “I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don’t use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.” – Yakov Smirnoff
  36. “I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.” – Yakov Smirnoff

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